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Sex Jokes
Hanging Wallpaper
Hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman. Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
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Great Advice Mom
Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no to everything." "Well," Barry said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?" "No," the girl replied. "Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?" "N-n-no," the girl stammered. "You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lot of fun if you're on the same level as me about this."
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Mike Tyson Gets Good News
Mike Tyson gets out of jail and proceeds to do what he does best: find a woman with whom he may "commiserate." After a wild night of getting it on, it's time for the young lady to leave. As she's getting dressed, she and Mike are having a conversation.
She says, "Lotsa guys want to know how it was. Well, I have good news and bad news for you. Which would you like first?"
Mike thinks for a moment and says, "What the hell, give me the good news."
She tells him, "The good news is that you're bigger than Magic Johnson."
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