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Sex Jokes
The Best Time?
Q: When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
A: When a rotteweiler is f**king your leg.
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Onion Rings
Q: Ever since I've been pregnant, I haven't been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you're doing with them.
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Little Johnny's Birthday Wish
Little Johnny asks his father for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny's father says, "We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won't be a $200 bike this year." Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father asks him why he's leaving. Johnny says, "Early this morning, I was walking past your room, and I heard you tell Mommy that you were pulling out, and Mommy said that you should wait because she was coming too, and I'll be damned if I'll get stuck with an $80,000 mortgage!"
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