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The best jokes and joke writers!

White Gerbil Brown Gerbil

Q: What's the difference between a white gerbil and a brown gerbil?

A: The white one got away.

Abstain from Sex

A mother worries that her teenage daughter is having sex and might get pregnant, so she consults several parenting websites for advice. Later that evening, as her daughter prepares for a date, the mother sits down to talk with her. "I know you are adult enough to make the right decision about your body. But I want you to please try to abstain from sex until you're married. If you must have sex, then please use protection." Feeling proud of herself for being so pro-active, the mother hands her daughter a box of condoms. The daughter laughs and hugs her mother. "Oh Mom! You don't have to worry about that! I'm dating a girl!"

Practice makes Perfect

My Lesbian neighbors Jill and Julie, who are both teachers, asked me to help them conceive a child.

They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old-fashioned way as they weren't man-haters.

For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them that I had a vasectomy last year.

Ashamed

Two men and a woman were the sole survivors of a pleasure cruise ship that sank in the Bermuda Triangle. They made it to an uninhabited island. Two weeks later the woman jumped off a cliff because she was so ashamed of what she was doing. Two weeks after that the two men buried her because they were so ashamed of what they were doing. Two more weeks passed by and the men dug her up again...being so ashamed of what they were doing.

Gay Baby

Q: How do you make a gay baby cry?

A: Take the pacifier out of his ass.