We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Texas Brothers

Herman and his brother, Trevor live on a farm in Texas. One day Trevor rides on his bike into town and he sees a building on fire, so he goes back home and tells his brother, "Herman, Herman there is a fire and people are getting burned!"
His brother says, "Oh, that was on the radio -- that's old news."
So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a bank being robbed, so he rides back home and says, "Herman, Herman there is bank being robbed and people are getting shot and killed!" His brother says, "Oh that was on the radio -- that's old news." So Trevor rides back into town and he sees a pig stuck in a fence and starts to thinkin'... Then he rides home and says, "Herman Herman! I had my first sexual experience today!" His brother says, "In a pig's ass." And Trevor replies, "Oh, you and your stupid radio."

Time Telling at the Zoo

A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time. He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?" The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 3:00," the zoo keeper responds. The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."

You Might Be A Redneck 37

You might be a redneck if...

  • The directions to your bathroom include, "Go past the big oak and hang a left at the woodshed."
  • You're in bed with your wife and you call out a name you gave to a coon you killed.
  • You've ever been arrested for where you got your girlfriend roses.
  • Your old car is now considered the main storage unit.
  • Every magazine on your coffee table has a piece of toilet paper for a bookmark.
  • Charlie Daniels is your commencement speaker.
  • After the divorce you still call your Ex "Cuz".
  • You have a bowling machine in your kitchen.
  • You pick up your girlfriend on a bike for the prom.
  • The Roto-Rooter man calls for backup when visiting your house.

Ectoplasm

Just watched the porn version of Ghostbusters. What a predictable ending.

Slimer.

Killed Your Rooster!

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car followed by a large cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, and rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him" ."Suit yourself,"  the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."