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The best jokes and joke writers!

New Zealand Love

Q: Why can't a New Zealander remember how many girlfriends he's had?

A: He always falls asleep while counting.

Horse Lover

A worried patient went to his psychiatrist. "I'm in love with my horse," he said .

"But that's nothing," replied the shrink. "A lot of people love animals. For instance, my wife and I have a dog that we love very much."

"Ah, but doctor," the patient replied. "It's a sexual attraction that I feel toward my horse."

"Ahhh!" exclaimed the doc. "What kind of a horse is it? Male or female?"

"Female, of course," said the bloke. "What do you think I am, a faggot!"

A Lusty Camel

A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for the first three days. On the fourth day, the camel stops again and refuses to move, so the guy gets down and prepares to do his duty, but the camel quickly steps aside. He tries again, And again. Finally in exasperation he walks in front of the camel and says "For Christ's sake, what do you want now?" The camel puckers up and makes little sucking noises.

Owe Yo Mama

How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.

Brother-in-law Went to the Doctor

My brother-in-law went to the doctor complaining of a very difficult time achieving an orgasm.

The Dr said "which position do you use?"

"Doggy style," said dumb shit.

"Why don't you go home and tonight try it missionary position and see if that works any better." said the Dr.

"We've tried that" he said, "but my dogs got such baaadddd breath!"