Light Bulb - Lutheran Theologians

Q: How many liberal Lutheran theologians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: At least 10, because they need to debate whether the light bulb exists. If they agree upon the bulb's existence, they might refrain from changing it to avoid alienating those who use other forms of light.

Finals Prayer

Now I lay me down to study, I pray the Lord I won't go nutty. If I should fail to learn this junk, I pray the Lord I will not flunk. But if I do, don't pity me at all, just lay my bones in the study hall. Tell my prof I did my best, then pile my books upon my chest. Now I lay me down to rest and pray I'll pass tomorrow's test. If I should die before I wake, that's one less test I'll have to take.

Branch Davidians

Q: How many Branch Davidians can you fit in a car?
A: It depends on how big your ashtray is!