Insulting in Church II

How to be Insulting in Church: Always try to be half a line ahead of the vicar, and always be as loud as you dare in the responses.

Raising Cain

Sunday School Teacher: "What evidence is there in the Bible that Adam and Eve were noisy?" Boy: "They raised Cain!"

Child's Baptism

After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window. The older of the two, a five-year-old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic. "Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?" she says as she shook the older boy in anger. "We were just playing church mommy," he said. "And I was just baptizing him... in the name of the Father, the Son and in... the hole-he-goes."