Religion Jokes - Heaven Jokes

Muslim in Heaven

He is about to climb up the white clouded stairs and stops in front of a golden gate. There is a bearded man waiting for him. The Muslim asks: "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is very happy to hear that Mohammed is more important than Saint Peter and is higher up. He climbs another flight of stairs. Tired, he stops in front of another large gate. He finds a young man with curly blond hairs and asks, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm Michael, Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is in ecstasy learning that Mohammed is more important than angels. He climbs an even longer flight of stairs. Exhausted, he reaches another gate, even bigger. He's met by a bearded man and asks him, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I am Jesus. Mohammed is further up." The Muslim is ecstatic and explodes with happiness learning that Mohammed is even more important than Jesus and that his religion is indeed the best of them all. He cannot wait to meet Mohammed. He quickly climbs further up. Panting, breathless, exhausted, he arrives at a huge white gate. Waiting for him is very old man with a long white beard. The Muslim asks with the little breath he has left, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I'm God, but I see you're tired, come in, sit down, rest for a moment. Do you want some water, a coffee perhaps? And the Muslim says, "Yes, a coffee ... I would be very grateful." So God turns around, raises his hand, whistles, and says, "Mohammed, two coffees."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Muslim Jokes)
Anonymous

Cat and Chicken to Heaven

A cat and a chicken die but end up in the wrong heavens. The cat is in chicken heaven and the chicken is in cat heaven. There is a river between the two heavens and they both must cross it to get to their rightful place. The chicken flies over to his heaven without a hitch, but when the cat tries to cross over, he falls in and gets totally wet. 
Q: What's the moral of the story?
A: When there's a happy cock, there's a wet pussy.

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Chicken & Cross-the-Road Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Sex Jokes , Riddles
Anonymous

Docs Go To Heaven

Three doctors died and went to the Pearly Gates to be interviewed to see where they would end up. St. Peter asked the first one what he did on earth, and he said he was an obstetrician. St. Peter asked what an obstetrician did and the doc told him. "Sounds pretty good; okay you can go in to Heaven." The second doc said he was a pediatrician and had to explain what that involved. St. Peter said, "Sounds very useful, very good -- you can go in too." The third doc said he was the chief man in charge of a whole HMO conglomerate. "Well, what's that?" asked St. Peter. So the doc told him exactly what that involved. "Sounds very important, very useful. You can go in too." So the third doc goes in the Gates and starts to walk up the stairs. St. Peter turns and calls after him, "Oh, by the way, you can only stay three days."

Categories: Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Profession Jokes (Other Doctor Jokes)
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Anonymous