Pope Buying New Car

The Pope walked into a car dealership one day to buy a car. A young salesman came out just as soon as the Pope walked onto the lot. ''Hello, can I help you?'' ''Yes, I'm looking for a car to drive to the Vatican.'' ''We have a wide selection, as you can see. As soon as you find one you like, come get me.'' So the Pope looked around and found a really nice sports car. The Pope didn't have his checkbook, so he said he would come back the next day to buy the car. The next day he came back and the car had pieces cut out all over the place. ''What did you do to my car?!'' the Pope yelled. ''I was just trying to make it holy for you.''

Insulting In Church

How to be insulting in church: Sing out of tune in all the hymns and try singing half a line behind everyone else.

Cannibal Got a Religion

Q: What happened when the cannibal got a religion?
A: He only ate Catholics on Fridays!