Foul Play?

Suspecting her husband of infidelity, the woman attempted to put an end to it by arousing his jealousy. "What would you say if I told you that I've been sleeping with your best friend?" she asked provocatively. "Well," he mused, "I'd have to say that you're a lesbian!"

Guy to Guy Advice

Don't get married. Find someone you hate and buy them a house.

The Anninversary

My father and mother were recently celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. While cutting the cake, my mother was moved after seeing my father’s eyes fill with tears. Mother took his arm, and looked at him affectionately. "I never knew you were so sentimental," she whispered.
"No, no," he said, choking back his tears, "That’s not it at all. Remember when your father found us in the barn and told me to either marry you or spend the next 50 years in jail?"
"Yes," my mother replied. "I remember it like yesterday."
"Well," said my father, "today I would have be a free man!"