Always Been a Doubt

A man is talking to his best friend about married life. "You know", he says, "I really trust my wife and I think she has always been faithful to me.  But there's always that doubt."  His friend says, "Yeah, I know what you mean."
A couple of weeks later the man has to go out of town on business.  Before he goes, he gets together with his friend.  "While I'm away, could you do me a favor?  Could you watch my house and see if there is anything fishy going on?  I mean, I trust my wife but there's always that doubt."  The friend agrees to help out and the man leaves town. 
Two weeks later he comes back and meets his friend. "So did anything happen?".  "I have some bad news for you," says the friend. "The day after you left I saw a strange car pull up in front of your house.  The horn honked and your wife ran out and got into the car and they drove away.  Later, after dark, the car came back.  I saw your wife and a strange man get out.  They went into the house and I saw a light go on, so I ran over and looked in the window.  Your wife was kissing the man.  Then he took off his shirt.  Then she took off her blouse. Then they turned off the light."  "Then what happened?", says the man. "I don't know. It was too dark to see.", he replied.   "Damn, you see what I mean? There's always that doubt."

Mother's Day

Q: Husband to Wife: Want to go on a hot date for Mother's Day?
A: Wife to Husband: Sure! Will you watch the kids?

Quirky Couple

A young couple decided to wed.  As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other.  The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I'm deeply concerned about the success of my marriage." His father replied, "Don't you love this girl?" "Oh yes, very much," he said, "But you see, I have very smelly feet and I'm afraid that my fiance will be put off by them."  "No problem," said dad, "All you have to do is wash your feet as often as possible and always wear socks, even to bed."  Well, to him this seemed a workable solution.
The bride-to-be, overcoming her fear, decided to take her problem up with her mom.  "Mom," she said, "When I wake up in the morning my breath is truly awful."  "Honey," her mother consoled, "Everyone has bad breath in the morning."  "No, you don't understand. My morning breath is so bad, I'm afraid that my fiance will not want to sleep in the same room with me."  Her mother said simply, "Try this. In the morning, get straight out of bed and head for the kitchen and make breakfast. While the family is busy eating, move on to the bathroom and brush your teeth. The key is, not to say a word until you've brushed your teeth."  "I shouldn't say good morning or anything?" the daughter asked.  "Not a word," her mother affirmed.  "Well, it's certainly worth a try," she said.
The loving couple were finally married. Not forgetting the advice each had received, he with his perpetual socks and she with her morning silence, they managed quite well. That is, until about six months later.  Shortly before dawn one morning, the husband wakes with a start to find that one of his socks had come off. Fearful of the consequences, he frantically searches the bed. This, of course, wakes his bride and without thinking, she asks, "What on earth are you doing?"  "Oh, my," he replies, "You've swallowed my sock!"