Hoe Down

You know you're a redneck when some one yells "hoe down" and your wife drops to the floor!

Grandma

Girls find it creepy that I have sex in the same bed my grandma died in.
I mean, I'll move her once I've saved enough for a funeral.

Drive Over

The hit-and-run victim was just getting to his feet when a policeman ran up to help. "My mother-in-law just tried to run me over!" the shaken man told the cop. "The car hit you from behind," the officer said. "How could you tell it was your mother-in-law?" "I recognized the laugh!" he replied.