Tractor Love

So there's this guy who reaaaally loves tractors. He had tractor toys, he read tractor weekly, he has tractor posters on his wall.... the works. He spent all his time consumed with tractors. So naturally, his mother got worried. She convinced him to go to the local bar to try and meet someone.
So he reluctantly goes to the bar and, miraculously, he finds a woman who loves tractors too. (Not as much as him, though because NO-ONE loves tractors as much as this guy). But he meets this girl who loves tractors enough to stimulate him, intellectually.
So fast forward a couple of months and this guy brings his girlfriend to the local field to watch the tractors go by during the sunset. He proposes to her and she says yes. Then they both fall asleep in the field and he has a dream that a tractor was coming to run over him. He wakes and there is a tractor coming towards him! He quickly rolls away but his fiancée gets run over and killed.
He is obviously devastated and swears never to even look at a tractor ever again. So he tears down all his posters and spends all his time in his room, alone and depressed for a few weeks until his mother, again intervenes and gets him to go to the local bar again.
When he arrives, the bar is on fire! He rushes in and takes a deep breath, sucking in all the fire and smoke.
The firemen immediately ask him how he did it.
"I'm an ex-tractor fan."

Homie Hopping

There are some girls that like to do something called "homie hopping" and homie hopping is basically a girl dates a guy and then she ends up trying to get with his friends, and then she gets with someone new, then jumps to his other friends, and so on. Guys have this and it's called "testing the waters."

The Ring

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring. The man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."  At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000 the jeweler said." The lady's
eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We'll take it." The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 
"By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds. I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon." On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and
said, "Sir...There's no money in that account." "I know," said the old man..."But let me tell you about my weekend."