Black Widow Spiders

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill the male after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

The Honeymoon

After the third day of a really intimate honeymoon, the young couple finally emerged from their room and walked into the hotel restaurant. After they were seated, the waiter came over to get their orders. The new husband looked at his bride and said, "You know what I really feel like honey?" "Well sure," she blushed, "But we gotta eat sometime !"

Interview

Prosecutor: Mr. Clinton, did you have an improper relationship with Monica Lewinsky?
President: Improper? Ain't nothing improper about that. That was one of the the sweetest interns I've ever had.