True Redneck Girl

Q: How do you know when you have a true redneck girl?
A: When she can chew tabacco and give you a blow job at the same time, and knows which one to spit and which one to swallow.

You Might Be A Redneck If - Lard

You might be a redneck if you've ever used lard in bed.

Redneck Poetry

The finals of the National Poetry Contest last year came down to two finalists. One was a Duke University Law School graduate from an upper crust family; well-bred, well-connected, and all that goes with it. The other finalist was a redneck from Southeast Alabama A&M. The rules of the contest required each finalist to compose a four-line poem in one minute or less, and the poem had to contain the word "Timbuktu". The Duke graduate went first. About thirty seconds after the clock started he jumped up and recited the following poem:
 
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked the dusty caravan.
Men on camels, two by two
Destination - Timbuktu.
 
The audience went wild!!! How, they wondered, could the redneck top that?! The clock started again and the redneck sat in silent thought. Finally, in the last few seconds, he jumped and recited:
 
Tim and me, a-huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop-up tent.
They was three, we was two,
So I bucked one and Timbuktu.