32 Hillbillies

Q: What do you call 32 hillbillies standing in line?
A: A full set of teeth!

Why Rednecks have low Stress

Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they don't understand the seriousness of most medical terminology
Medical Term :  Redneck Definition
Artery : The study of paintings
Bacteria : Back door to cafeteria
Barium : What doctors do when patients die
Benign : What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section : A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan : Searching for Kitty
Cauterize : Made eye contact with her
Colic : A sheep dog
Coma : A punctuation mark
Dilate : To live long
Enema : Not a friend
Fester : Quicker than someone else
Fibula : A small lie
Impotent : Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain : Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff : A Doctor's cane
Morbid : A higher offer
Nitrates : Rates of Pay for Working at Night
Node : I knew it
Outpatient : A person who has fainted
Pelvis : Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative : A letter carrier
Recovery Room : Place to do upholstery
Rectum : Nearly killed him
Secretion : Hiding something
Seizure : Roman Emperor
Tablet : A small table
Terminal Illness : Getting sick at the airport
Tumor : One plus one more
Urine : Opposite of you're out

Polish New Car Is Busted

A polish guy wins a brand new sports car in a contest. He drives around all the time waving at the rednecks. One day the rednecks stop him, they draw a circle in the dirt and say "If you step out of that circle, we will kick your ass." They pick up hammers and start busting up his new car. They look back and he is smiling. They hit the car some more, and he is laughing. They walk over to him and ask "Why are you laughing, we just busted up your car." He says "I know, but I stepped out of the circle 9 times."