You Might Be A Redneck 50

You might be a redneck if...

• You think cur is a breed of dog.
• People hear your car long before they see it.
• Your four-year-old is a member of the NRA.
• Your satellite dish payment delays buying school clothes for the kids.
• Your most expensive shoes have numbers on the heels.
• Your wife has ever burned out an electric razor.
• Your birth announcement included the word "rug rat".
• You've ever hitchhiked naked.
• You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a deer.
• Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her purse.

Redneck Bull and Cow

Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

Redneck Marriage Vows

You know you're a redneck when you think marriage vows are what your father-in-law promised to do to you if you didn't marry his daughter.