Redneck Railroad

Three railroad workers, a Chinese man, an Italian, and a redneck, are all sitting down to lunch. The Chinese man says, "If I get another egg roll in my lunch, I'll kill myself." The Italian guy says, "If I get another slice of pizza, I'll kill myself." The redneck says, "Iffin I get another ham hock, I'll kill myself." The next day, all three men get the same lunches, so they throw themselves in front of an oncoming train. At the funeral the Chinese man's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed an egg roll that day." The Italian guy's wife says, "If only I hadn't packed a slice of pizza that day." "Don't look at me," says the redneck's wife. "He done packed his own vittles."

You Might Be A Redneck - Hunting

If you bet somebody 5 bucks for something then proceed to go hunting... you just might be a redneck.

You Might Be A Redneck If...Sideburns

You grow your sideburns longer and fuller because it looks so good on your sister.