Slowest on 80 Wheels
Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?
A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.
Black and White
Q: What's the difference between a black and a white guy?
A: Well obviously one of them is a fucking nigger
Q: What do you call a Mexican crossed with an octopus?
A: I don’t know, but you should see it pick lettuce!
"Hi Mom, it's me." "Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the hardware store, looking for a drill." "Yeah, I was, but I got arrested and they've let me make one phone call, and that's why I'm calling you." "Oh my God, what happened?"
"Oh, I punched this African-American woman in the face." "What on earth . . . Why did you do that?"
"Well, it really wasn't my fault. Dad told me to find a Black and Decker. Mom, I knocked the shit out of her!"
Q: How can you tell Mario is racist?
A: He's an Italian plumber, made by Japanese people, who speaks English, looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!