The Wishes Of A Black Guy
A black guy has three wishes. He wishes to be white, uptight, and out of sight. Poof, he's a tampon.
A cowboy walks into a bar, sits down, and asks for a shot. Across the bar, a Mexican man is sitting and glaring at the cowboy. The cowboy takes the shot and slams the shot glass down on the counter, yelling, "TGIF!" The Mexican orders a shot, takes it, and slams his glass down, yelling, "SPIT!" The cowboy looks over at him and notices the Mexican guy is still staring at him. The cowboy once again orders a shot, slams it down, and yells again "TGIF!" Once again, the Mexican orders a shot, slams it down after consuming it, and yells out, "SPIT!" This goes on for a while, and the bartender stands puzzled and annoyed. Finally, the bartender asks the cowboy, "Just checking, but do you know what TGIF means?" and the cowboy replies, "Hell ya I know what it means, 'Thank God It's Friday!'" The bartender asks the Mexican guy, "Okay, so what does 'SPIT' mean?" and the Mexican replies, "Stupid Pendejo It's Thursday!"
Q: How do Mexicans take a family portrait?
A: They all gather together on the back of a pickup truck and run a red light!
Mexicans at the Alamo
Q: Why did only 1,800 Mexicans show up to the Battle of the Alamo?
A: They only had two vans!
Jump Out of the Plane
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive." The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.