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The best jokes and joke writers!

The Prayer Of A Sweet Little Old Lady

In church a sweet elderly lady was overheard saying a prayer. It was so innocent and sincere that I just have to share it with you:

"Dear Lord, this has been a tough four to five years. You have taken my favorite actor Patrick Swayze, my favorite musician Michael Jackson, my favorite Blues singer Amy Winehouse, my favorite actress Elizabeth Taylor, my favorite singer Whitney Houston, and now my favorite author Tom Clancy. I just wanted you to know that my favorite politicians are Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, Barbara Boxer, Diane Feinstein, Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and Harry Reid.
Amen.”

Monica Lewinsky and Bill

Q: What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

A: 1 U.S. leader!

Bill To Monica...

Q: What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?

A: I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

Russia Meeting

Q: Why did Obama miss the meeting with the Prime Minister of Russia?

A: He kept putin it off !

Razorback Hogs

Bill Clinton got off his helicopter in front of the White House with a baby pig under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said "Nice pigs, Sir!" The President replied  "These are not pigs. They are authentic Arkansas Razorback Hogs. I got one for Hillary, and I got one for Chelsea." The Marine again snapped to attention, saluted, and replied, "Nice trade, Sir!"