Marine Confession

A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville. He tells the priest, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter."
The priest says, "My son, I am here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service."

Anthropomorphic Nouns

We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish,
and a Gaggle of geese. 
However, less widely known is: A Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (or their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves, and, presumably because they look so wise,  a Parliament of owls.
Now consider a group of Baboons. Baboons are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least Intelligent of all primates.  And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons?
Believe it or not... A Congress! A CONGRESS OF BABOONS!  Now, some say that it’s really a Troop of Baboons but I think we do have a Congress of Baboons.

Jones or Lewinsky?

Clinton was asked who was a better lover: Monica Lewinsky or Paula Jones. His response:  Paula was good, but no cigar.