Old Age Jokes - Old Age Sex Jokes

Exotic Cars

The 70-year-old man sat down in the orthopedic surgeon's office. "You know, Doc," he said, "I've made love in more exotic cars than anyone I know. Must be at least a hundred."
"And now, I suppose, you want me to treat you for the arthritis you got from scrunching up in all those uncomfortable positions," the doc said.
"Hell, no," the old fellow replied. "I want to borrow your Lamborghini."

Categories: Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Home Depot Warning

A 'heads up' for those men who may be regular customers at Lowe's, Home Depot, Costco, or even Wal-Mart. This one caught me totally by surprise. Over the last month, I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don't be naive enough to think it couldn't happen to you or your friends.
Here's how the scam works; Two nice looking, college-age girls will come over to your car or truck as you are packing your purchases into your vehicle. They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. (It's impossible not to look). When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say 'No' but instead, ask for a ride to McDonald's. Ok, this is when it really gets scary.
You agree and they climb into the vehicle. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.
I had my wallet stolen March 4th, 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, again on the 17th, 20th, 24th, and the 29th. Also April 1st, 4th, 8th, twice on the 16th &17th, and very likely it will happen again this upcoming weekend.
So tell your friends to be careful. What a horrible way to take advantage of us older men. Warn your friends to be vigilant.
P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each. I found even cheaper ones for $.99 at the Dollar Store. Also, you never get to eat at McDonald's. I've already lost 11 pounds just running back and forth from Lowe's to Home Depot to Wal-Mart.
So please, send this on to all the retired men that you know and warn them to be on the lookout for this scam. (The best times are just before lunch and around 4:30 in the afternoon).

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes)
Anonymous

Saving Up

This old geezer of 78 marries a girl of 18. The morning after the wedding night, the girl comes down with a pained expression on her face. "What's the matter, dear?" asks the woman at the front desk. "Well," sniffed the girl, "He told me he'd been saving up for 60 years, and I thought he meant his money!"

Categories: Sex Jokes , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Wedding Jokes) , Old Age Jokes (Old Age Sex Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous