We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

The best jokes and joke writers!

Knitting and Driving

An old lady was knitting as she was driving down the highway, not paying any attention to the road. Pretty soon, a police officer pulls alongside her car and yells, "Pull over!"

The lady yells back, "No - mittens!"

Hot Buns

When your car seat butt warmers are more about lower back pain than keeping you warm

How fast was I going?

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old."

Road Rage

An elderly lady was stopped to pull into a parking space when a young man in his new red Mercedes went around her and parked in the space she was waiting for. The little old lady was so upset that she went up to the man and said, "I was going to park there!"

The man was a real smart aleck and he said, "That's what you can do when you're young and bright." Well, this really upset the lady even more, so she got in her car and backed it up and then she stomped on the gas and plowed right into his Mercedes. The young man ran back to his car and asked, "What did you do that for?" The little old lady smiled and told him, "That's what you can do when you're old and rich!"

Right Turn

A policeman was on patrol when he came upon a line of cars stopped at a light with horns blasting. The light directing that lane of traffic was green. He pulled out of line and stopped alongside of the first car in line to see what the problem was. The car was driven by an elderly woman. He asked her why she was stopped when the light was green. She said, "Oh, because I'm on my way to my sister's house which is that way." and she pointed to the right. The motorcycle cop said, "Well go ahead! The light is green." The elderly woman responded with, "Yes I know, but the sign under the light says 'RIGHT TURN ON RED."