Where is the Accountant?

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant.  His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."

Short Term Job

I had a job once, it lasted a month. I finally called the boss and said, "I can't come in for a few days." He said, "What's the matter, you sick?" I said, " No, I just have to wait until this thought of wanting to kill you goes away."

Call from the Boss

My boss phoned me today. He said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "It’s all under control. It's been a very busy day. I haven't stopped to take a break all day."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said "Of course, what is it?" "Pick up the pace a little - I'm in the group behind you."