Recycled Toilet Paper

Life is good when I can afford to buy recycled toilet paper.

Making Ends Meet

"We have a terrible time making ends meet on Bob's income.", his wife told her best friend.  "How do you two manage? And you even have kids!"  "We get along okay," her friend said. "You see, we work on our budget every evening. That saves us lots of money."  "Really? How can that be?"  "Well, by the time we get it all balanced, it's too damn late to go anywhere and do anything!"

Poor Man to the Pub

A poor man and woman sat down in their living room and the man said, ''I'm going down to the pub for a bit, so put your coat on.'' The woman replied, ''Oh, sweetie, why? Are you taking me with you?'' The man replied, ''No, I'm turning the heat off.''