Fox Hole

Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality

Military Holiday Traditions

Top Holiday Traditions In The Military

9. Gluing Santa beard to your gas mask
8. Roasting chestnuts with an M4-A3 flamethrower
7. Draw up list of who's naughty, who's nice and who can't run their 2 miles without wheezing like an infant
6. Christmas morning, getting to sleep in till 0530
5. You open a gift and surprise! It's a khaki-colored t-shirt
4. Extra R&R for any personnel named Donner or Blitzen
3. There's always plenty of parking at the mall when you're driving a tank
2. Watching "Frosty" and crying my eyes out
1. Freeze-dried, shelf-stable, vacuum-sealed eggnog

Iraqi Military

Q: What are the Iraqi military rules of engagement?
A: If it doesn't move, hide behind it. If it does move, surrender to it.
Iraqi Military Motto: I came I saw I took my American truck and drove home.