Military Jokes

Is Sex Work?

A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work. A Captain said it was 50%-50%. A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion? Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure. The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them." The room fell silent. God Bless the enlisted man.

Anonymous

Naval Student's Anchors

A young naval student was being put through the paces by an old sea captain.
"What would you do if a sudden storm sprang up on the starboard?" asked the captain.
"Throw out an anchor, sir," the student replied.
"What would you do if another storm sprang up aft?"
"Throw out another anchor, sir," the student replied.
"And if another terrific storm sprang up forward, what would you do then?" asked the captain.
"Throw out another anchor, sir," the student replied.
"Hold on," said the captain. "Where are you getting all those anchors from?"
"From the same place you're getting your storms, sir."

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Anonymous

WWII Spies

Three spies are arrested during WWII. One spy is French, one is Polish and the other is Italian. Their captors come into the cell and grab the French spy and tie his hands behind a chair in the next room. They torture him for 2 hours before he answers all questions and gives up all of his secrets. The captors throw the French spy back into the cell and grab the Polish spy. They tie his hands behind the chair as well and torture him for 4 hours before he tells them what they want to know. They throw him back into the cell and grab the Italian spy. They tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing him. 4 hours go by and the Italian spy isn't talking then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell. The Polish and French spies are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk. The Italian spy responds, "I wanted to, but I couldn't move my hands!"

Anonymous