Military Etiquette

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again. Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

Naval Surgeon

"What kind of job do you do?" a lady passenger asked the man sitting next to her on the airplane. "I'm a naval surgeon," he replied. "Goodness!" said the lady, "How you doctors specialize these days!"

Requesting a Three Day Pass

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says, "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked, "How did you do it?"
"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"