A Bit Apprehensie.

As a sergeant in a parachute regiment I took part in several night time exercises. Once, I was seated next to a Lieutenant  fresh from Jump School. He was quiet, looked a bit pale so I struck up a conversation. "Scared, Lieutenant?", I asked. He replied, "No, just a bit apprehensive." I asked, "What's the difference? "He replied, "That means I'm scared with a university education."

Military Motor Pool

The phone rings at the military motor pool and an authoritative voice demands to know how many vehicles are operational. Paddy answers, "We've got 12 trucks, 10 utilities, three staff cars and that Bentley the fat-assed colonel drives around in." There is a stony silence. "Do you know who you are speaking to?" demands the gruff voice. "No," says Paddy. "It is the so-called fat-assed colonel you so insubordinately referred to." "Well, do you know who you are talking to?" "No," roars the colonel. "Well thank goodness for that," says Paddy as he hangs up the phone.

Fighter Pilot

Last Thursday night he gradually woke up - stiff as a plank in a hospital's ICU.
Tubes up his nose and down his throat; wires monitoring every function and all around his head, hell of a pain over his left ear . . .and a Drop Dead Gorgeous Nurse hovering over him.
It was obvious he'd been in a serious accident. She looked deep and steady into his eyes, and he heard her slowly say,
"You may not feel anything from the waist down . . . "He managed to mumble in reply, "Can I feel your boobs, then?"