Horsie Ride

Little Johnny is passing his parents bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in the Act.
Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims, "Oh boy! Horsie ride! Daddy can I ride on your back?" Daddy was relieved that Johnny's not asking more uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to break his stride, he agrees.
Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out, "Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually gets bucked off!"

Give Me A Sentence Starting With I

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Little Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Little Johnny. Always say "I am."
Little Johnny: All right. "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."

A Present for Little Johnny

Little Johnny had a cussing problem and his father was getting tired of it. He decided to ask his shrink what to do. The shrink said that, since Christmas was coming up that he should ask Johnny what he wanted Santa to bring him. If he cussed, he should leave a pile of dog shit in place of the gift. Two days before Christmas, Johnny's dad asked Johnny what he wanted. Johnny said, "I want a goddamned teddy-bear laying right fuckin here beside me when I wake-up Christmas morning. Then, when I go downstairs I want to see a motherfuckin' train going around the goddamned tree, and when I go outside I want to see a red-assed fuckin' bitchin' bike leaning up against the damn garage!"
Christmas morning, Little Johnny woke up and rolled over into a big pile of dog shit. Confused, he walked downstairs and saw a bunch of dog shit around the Christmas tree. Scratching his head, he walked outside and saw a huge pile of dog shit by the garage. When he walked back inside with a curious look on his face.
His dad smiled and asked, "So Johnny, what did Santa bring you this year?"
Johnny replied, "I think I got a fuckin' dog but I can't find the son of a bitch."