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The best jokes and joke writers!

Grandpa and Little Johnny

Grandpa and Little Johnny are sitting on a bench in the park. Johnny asked, "Grandpa are you going to take that new Viagra?"

Grandpa looks at him and says "No Johnny, I will not."

"But Grandpa, why?" asks little Johnny.

Grandpa replies. "Because there is no sense in putting lead in your pencil if you have no one worth writing to."

Little Johnny and Venus Statue

The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks: "What do you like best about it?"
"The artwork," says Robert.
"Very good. And you, Peter?"
"Tits!"
"Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?"
"I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving."

Ate Her First

Little Johnny sat playing in the garden. When his mother came out to collect him, she saw that he was slowly eating a worm. She turned pale. "No, Johnny! Stop! That's horrible! You can't eat worms!" Trying to convince him further, "Now the mother worm is looking all over for her nice baby-worm." "No, she isn't," said Johnny. "Why not?" "Because I ate her first!"

Snakes And Bushes

Little Johnny walks in on his mother in the bathtub. He asks his mother what is the big fuzzy patch below her bellybutton. She replies, "A bush." The next day Little Johnny walks in on his father while he's in the shower. He asks, "What is that big long thing hanging between your legs?" His father replies, "It is a snake." A few days later, Little Johnny walks in on his mother, once again in the bathtub. He asks, "What are those two baggy things hanging above your bellybutton?" She replies, "Headlights." A couple weeks go by and the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. He yells, "Mom, turn on your headlights! The snake is crawling into your bush!"

Mom, can little girls have babies?

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No", said his mom, "of course not." Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"