Little Johnny

Little Johnny woke up to go the bathroom and passed by his parents door. Noticing that the door was open a bit, he walked in only to see his mother performing oral sex on his dad. Upon seeing this, little Johnny walks out and exclaims "Hah!, they got nerve...they sent ME to the doctor for sucking my thumb!"

Cat Stuttering

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter. No other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbor's Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!" and before he could say "FUCK OFF!", the dog ate him!"

Duck Sentence.

TEACHER: "Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence."
JOHNNY: "De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tail."