Cat Stuttering

Little Johnny is sitting in a biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon of nature is that only humans stutter. No other animal in the world does this. Johnny's hand shoots up. "Not correct, Miss!" he says. "Please explain, Johnny," replies the teacher. "Well, Miss, the other day I was playing with my cat on the porch. The neighbor's Great Dane came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! ffffffffffff! ffffffffff!" and before he could say "FUCK OFF!", the dog ate him!"

Duck Sentence.

TEACHER: "Johnny, use defeat, deduct, defense, and detail in one sentence."
JOHNNY: "De-feet of De-duck went over De-fence before De-tail."

I'd Rather Have a Puppy.

Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, "Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?" To which the father replies, "They are making a puppy!" Later that night Johnny wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Johnny asks his father, "Daddy what are you and mommy doing?" To which the father replies, "Johnny we are making you a little sister." Johnny thinks for a few moments and responds, "Well, daddy could you roll her over? I'd rather have a puppy!"