We're sorry, but it appears that you are using an anonymous proxy. To prevent fraudulent voting, we don't allow votes from anonymous proxies.

This contest requires users to be registered in order to vote.

You must be a registered user to submit a joke.  But registering is FREE and don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address, and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).

You must complete account validation before submitting jokes. Click here to go to your profile page to complete the process.

We’re sorry, but your browser settings indicate that you don’t want to be tracked.  You can either disable that setting or simply register for a FREE account, so we’ll know that you want us to track your preferences and feedback.  Don’t worry, we only need a name and e-mail address and we don’t sell or share your information with any third-parties (see Privacy Policy).


The best jokes and joke writers!

Lightbulb - Junkie

Q: How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to roll it, and one to light it up.

Lightbulb - Aerobics

Q: How many aerobics instructors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. Four to do it in perfect synchrony and one to stand there going "To the left, and to the left, and to the left, and to the left, and take it out, and put it down, and pick it up, and put it in, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right, and to the right..."

Einsteins to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Einsteins does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: That depends on the speed of the changer, and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. Then it just might be easier to leave the bulb alone and change the room. It's all relative.

NASA Techs to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many NASA technicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Seventy, and they plan it for two weeks and when they finally get around to it the weather's bad so they postpone it till next week. The lightbulb costs three million dollars.

Romanians to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many Romanians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. Ceaucescu restricted them to use only one 40 watt bulb per family to save electricity.