Some Other Stupid Insults

• Running U.S. appliances on British current.
• Runs squares around the competition.
• Rusty springs in the mousetrap.
• S p a c e d o u t .
• Sailboat fuel for brains.
• Sat under the ozone hole too long.
• Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong.
• Serving donuts on another planet.
• Settled some during shipping and handling.
• Seven seconds behind, and built to stay that way.
• Several nuts over fruitcake minimum.
• Several nuts short of a full pouch.
• Sharp, like stone in river.
• Swift, like tree through forest.
• She only packed half a sandwich.
• She only schedules zombie processes.
• She wears a pony tail to cover up the valve stem.
• She worries about the calories licking stamps and envelopes.
• She's a screensaver: Looks good, but useless.
• Short a few cards.
• Short-circuited between the earphones.
• Should be the poster child for family planning.
• Should have kept his helmet on while riding / playing.
• Single-sided, low density.
• Sitting in the right pew, but the wrong church.
• Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
• Skylight leaks a little.
• Slept too close to his radium-dial watch.
• Slinky's kinked.
• Sloppy as a soup sandwich.
• Slow as molasses in January.

Idiot Hunters

Three idiots decide to go hunting. The first one says he's going to get a buck. He goes out, and indeed comes back with a buck. The other two hunters ask how he did it. He says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get buck." So the second hunter says that he's going to get a doe. And he does. They ask him how he did it, and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get doe." So the third hunter says, "I'm just gonna shoot at anything I see."
So he goes out and comes back half a day later all beaten, bruised, bloody, and totally trashed. The other two hunters ask him what happened and he says, "I see tracks. I follow tracks. I get hit by train!"

Blonde Cheer

I'm a blonde! I'm a blonde B-L-O...? I'm a blonde, yay!