Main Vice President

Tom was so excited about his promotion to Vice President of the company he worked for and kept bragging about it to his wife for weeks on end. Finally she couldn't take it any longer, and told him, "Listen, it means nothing, they even have a vice president of peas at the grocery store!". "Really?" he said. Not sure if this was true or not, Tom decided to call the grocery store. A clerk answers and Tom says "Can I please talk to the Vice President of peas?" The clerk replies "Canned or frozen?"

Idiots In Food Service

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Defining Fear

He doesn't know the meaning of the word fear, but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words.