Valentine Sex

As an easy way to save money, a young couple decided that every time they have sex the husband would put his pocket change into a piggy bank on the nightstand. On Valentine's night, he was unusually athletic and accidentally knocked the piggy bank off the table and it broke into pieces on the floor.
To his surprise, among the masses of coins, there are handfuls of five and ten and even twenty dollar bills. He asks his wife "What's up with all the paper money?", to his wife which replied, "Well, not everyone is as cheap as you are."

Hipster Problems

Q: Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
A: Because he ate his pizza before it was cool.

Worst Final Comments

10. See me after class.
9. Did you even read the material?
8. It's a C, but it's a strong C.
7. Fascinatingly convoluted.
6. My, what nice, big margins!
5. You must've been up all last night.
4. The book ends differently than the movie.
3. Spelling requires more than just sounding it out.
2. Are you familiar with the term "plagiarism"?
1. Tell your mom to try harder.