International Airline Acronyms

Acronyms for International Air lines
Italy ALITALIA = Always Late In The Air, Late In Arrival.
ALITALIA = Arrived Late In Turin, And Luggage In Australia.
Britain BOAC = Better on a camel.
Belgium SABENA = Such A Bloody Experience Never Again.
Pakistan PIA = Please, Inform Allah.
Yugoslavia JAT = Joke About Time.
Pacific Western Airlines PWA = Pray While Aloft.
PWA = Please Wait Awhile Airlines.
Trans World Airlines = Teeney Weeny Airlines.

Southern Comments

Exclamations:

• "Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
• "Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."

Threats:

• "I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style."
• "This'll jar your preserves."
• "Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things & Compliments:

• "Cute as a sack full of puppies."
• "If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
• "Gooder than grits."

The Weather:

• "It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
• "It's been hotter'n a goat's butt in a pepper patch."
• Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:

• A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."
• When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."
• If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."
• "He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."
• A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

Insults:

• "She's uglier than homemade soap."
• "Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"
• "He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
• "Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
• "The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
• Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

New Vietnamese Cookbook

Q: What is the title of the new Vietnamese cookbook?
A: 100 way to wok your dog.