Armando and his Neighbor
Armando went to his neighbor and asked, "Hey Carlos, do you like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way out?" "No," says Carlos. Armando asks, "Do you like a woman whose teets hang almost to her knees?" "No," says Carlos. "Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so mucho grande?" "Caramba! No, amigo!" Carlos replied. "Theen tell me why," asked Armando, "do you keep screwing my wife?!?"
Q: What did the Mexican vampire say on Halloween?
A: I Juan to suck your blood!
A Japanese, Korean and Mexican man were discussing their favorite type of martial arts. Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense art. Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, the art of defense and attack. Mexican man: I practice Judono. The other two ask: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
The Right Way
A Mexican couple in their late teens come to a doctor's office and say: "Doctor, we would like to know if we are screwing properly. Will you watch us, please?" The doctor, somewhat puzzled, agrees, they climb on his table, the boy gets on top of the girl, and they have sex. After observing them, the doctor says, "Yes, you're having sex properly. That will be forty dollars." They come back the next day with the same request, but this time the boy enters the girl from the rear. They keep coming for four days in a row, using different positions every day. On the fifth visit the doctor says, "Why do you keep on coming back? I told you you're having sex properly." The boy explains, "The hotel room costs the same forty dollars, but this way we get reimbursed by Medicaid."
Q: Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign?
A: It was just the two of them.