Disease / Afflictions Jokes - STD Jokes

Her father was very angry when he heard that his twenty year old daughter had hitch hiked all alone, all the way from San Francisco to Washington. "For God's sake!" he screamed, "Someone could have attacked you and raped you!" "I wasn't ever in any danger at all", she said, trying to calm him down. "As soon as someone gave me a ride, I said I was going to Washington, because that's where they have the best treatment for sexually transmitted diseases."

Q: What do you get for the person who has everything?

A: Antibiotics

A guy gets out of the V.D. Hospital and decides to a hire a hooker, since he's been without for so long. Before long, he brings one home, and they have sex four times. After it's over, he turns to her and tells her he hasn't had sex in four months because of being in the V.D. Hospital. "How's the food there?" asks the hooker. "Because I'm going in there tomorrow!"

Q: What's the difference between mono and herpes?

A: You get mono from from snatching a kiss, and herpes from kissing a snatch.

Q: How do you get AIDS from a toilet seat?

A: If you sit down before the other guy gets off.