God's New Commandment

NEWS FLASH: GOD ANNOUNCES THE 11TH COMMANDMENT!
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th. After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:
"Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

Guess Who

Q: Who has large antlers, a high voice and wears white gloves?
A: Mickey Moose!

Join a Club

The Yoko Club? - Oh no.
The German philosophy club? - I. Kant.
The Ford-Nixon club? - Pardon me?
The Arafat club? - Yessir.
The Alzheimer's club? - Forget it.
The Ebert movie club? - Roger.
The Groucho Marx club? - You bet your life.
The Peter Pan club? - Never. Never.
The Japanese theater club? - Noh.
The quarterback club? - I'll pass.
The Rhett Butler club? - I don't give a damn.
The compulsive rhymers club? - Okey-dokey.
The Spanish optometrists club? - Si.
The Anti-perspirant club? - Sure.
The pregnancy club? - Conceivably.
The Procrastinator's Club? - Maybe next week...
The Self Esteem Builders? - They wouldn't accept me anyway
The Agoraphobics Society? - Only if they meet at my house
The Co-Dependence Club? - Can I bring a friend?
The Prayer Group? - God willing!