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The best jokes and joke writers!

Cruise Special

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!" So she goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special please." The agent says "Yes, ma'am," then he grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her onto a large inner-tube, pulls her out the back door and downhill to the river bank, where he pushes her in and sends her floating down the river. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays down her money and asks for the $99 special. She too is sent floating down river. Drifting in stronger current she catches up with the first blonde. Drifting side by side for a while, the first blonde asks "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?" The second blonde replies, "They didn't last year."

Appliance Store

A blonde woman walks into a store and asks the clerk about the TV in the corner. The clerk says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." Irritated, the woman goes home and dyes her hair black. The next day she comes back and asks again. The clerk again says, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." Furious, the woman goes home and dyes her hair red this time. The next day she goes to the store and there's a different clerk there. She asks the clerk about the TV. The clerk replies, "Sorry ma'am, we don't serve blondes." The woman asks him, "How did you know I am a blonde?"  The clerk says, "Because that's not a TV, it's a microwave."

Library

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, "This is the WORST book I've ever read! It has NO plot and far too many characters!" The librarian looks up and calmly remarked, "So, you're the one who took our phone book!"

Car Accident

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.  The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.  He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle.  Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing.  This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.  This time the blonde laughed even harder.  Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.  The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.  The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"

Soda Machine

A blonde goes to a soda machine. She puts in a dollar and gets a soda. She does this again and again. A man in line behind her asks why she is taking so long. She says, "Can't you see I'm winning?"