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The best jokes and joke writers!

Surprise

One day, a blonde left work early to go home and surprise her husband with a big dinner. When she got home she saw her husband's car in the drive way and thought "Aw, shoot there goes my surprise." When she got inside, she heard something coming from her bedroom. She looked in and saw her husband humping her sister. She ran out of her house and went to a sporting goods store. After buying a gun she went home and ran into her backyard. She pulled out her gun put it to her head and let out a shrill scream. Her husband ran outside and saw his wife with the gun and said, "Honey, please don't do it!" The blonde screamed, "Shut up asshole, you're next!"

Submarine

Q: How do you sink a submarine full of blondes?

A: Knock on the door.

Blonde Tourists

Two blonde tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter, one blonde tourist asked the waitress, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are, very slowly?"

The waitress leaned over the counter and said "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiing."

Blonde and Computer

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

Blonde On Blonde

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it." The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said. The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."