Blondes to Disneyland
Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left." So they went home.
Q: Why are blonde's boobs always square?
A: Because they forget to take the kleenex out of the box.
A blonde, out of money and down on her luck after buying air at a real bargain, needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took her behind a building, and told her, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the slides on the south side of the playground. Signed, A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent her home to show it to her parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the apple tree. The blonde looked in the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"
Blondes and Cheese Whiz
Q: How are a blonde's legs like cheese whiz?
A: They're both useless unless they're spread!
Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.