Bar Jokes

Tough Guy Eh?

A man and his girlfriend are at a bar when the girl goes to the bathroom. When she comes back she's crying. Her boyfriend asks her what happened. "As I was leaving the bathroom, a big guy at the pool table said he wanted to kiss my breasts all night long!" The boyfriend stood up from his stool and takes off his jacket. "He also said he wants to screw me all night long" By this time the boyfriend is furious and starts walking to the pool table. "He said he wants to drink beer from my pussy all night" The boyfriend stops, turns around, sits back up on his stool and grabs his beer. His girlfriend is stunned, and asks why he wasn't doing anything about the jerk at the pool table. The boyfriend says "I'm sorry Honey, but I'm not messing around with a guy that can drink that much beer."

Categories: Sex Jokes (Oral Sex Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Booty Call Jokes) , Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Bar Jokes (Bar Fight Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Odd Group in a Bar

A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"

Categories: Bar Jokes (Walks Into a Bar) , Religion Jokes (Nun / Priest Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Ethnic / Country Jokes (Scottish Jokes) , Blonde Jokes
Anonymous

New Alcohol Labeling Laws

Alcohol manufacturers have accepted the Government's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
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WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked..
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WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcohol may mack you tink you kan tpye reel gode.
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Categories: Alcohol Jokes , Bar Jokes (Drunk Jokes)
Submitted BY: Richard Koenders