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The best jokes and joke writers!

Conductors Change a Bulb

Q: How many conductors does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. [Indignant nose upturning] Of course, I wouldn't expect you to understand.

Bagpiper And Lightning

Q: Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning?

A: They rarely strike the same spot twice.

Electric Orchestra

Q: Did you hear about the orchestra that got electrocuted?

A: Some blame it on the conductor.

Fight Between the Musicians

At a concert hall one night, the stage manager comes across an oboe player and a viola player having a fight. He breaks the fight up and asks what the fight was about. The oboe player says, "He broke my reed! I was just about to play my big solo when he broke my reed!" "Well?" says the stage manager to the viola player. "What do you say to that?" In umbrage, the viola player replies, "He undid two of my strings but he won't tell me which ones!"

Blues Singer's Tombstone

Q: What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."