Quiet Cow

Q: What do you call a cow that can't moo?
A: A milk dud.

Late Again

A kid was late for school one day. "I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher. "Couldn't your father have done that?" "Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."

Cow Priced Like A Car

What would happen if we priced our "cows" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "car"? A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:

• Basic cow...$499.99
• Shipping and handling...35.75
• Extra Stomach...79.25
• Two Tone Exterior...142.10
• Produce Storage Compartment...126.50
• Heavy Duty Straw Chomper...189.60
• Four Spigot/High Output Drain System...149.20
• Automatic Fly Swatter...88.50
• Genuine Cowhide Upholstery...179.90
• Deluxe Dual Horns...59.25
• Automatic Fertilizer Attachment...339.40
• 4X4 Traction Drive Assembly...884.16
• Pre-delivery Wash and Comb...69.80