Problem with a dog

Police officer: Excuse me, but your dog has been chasing a man on his bicycle.
Dog owner: Are you crazy? My dog can't even ride a bicycle.

Profiling

Two priests are out driving and they get pulled over by a cop. The cop approaches the priests vehicle and says to the driver "Sorry to pull you over father, but we’re looking for a couple of child molesters." The two priests look at each other for a few moments and then have a few quiet words to each other. The driver turns back to the cop and says, "Alright officer, we’ll do it"

Creeper

I've been talking to a 13 year old girl for about 2 weeks now.
We've been texting a lot lately and she just told me she's an undercover cop.  That's quite impressive for her age.