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Patient: Operator, operator, call me an ambulance!
Operator: Okay, sir, you're an ambulance!

Statistics

The most important statistic for car manufacturers is auto correlation. Some statisticians don't drink because they are t-test totalers. Others drink the hard stuff as evidenced by the proliferation of box-and-whiskey plots. Underwater ship builders are concerned with sub-optimization. The Lipton Company is big on statistics - especially t-tests.

Archaeologists to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many archaeologists does does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Three. One to change it and two to argue about how old the old one is.