Marriage Counseling

After 20 years of marriage a husband and wife go to counseling. When asked what the problem is, the wife breaks into a passionate tirade of every problem they've ever had. Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist gets up, walks over to the wife, makes her stand up and kisses her very hard. The woman shuts up and quietly sits down. The therapist says to the husband, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?" After a moment the husband replies, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays I fish."

Professional Fisherman

Q: What do you call a professional fisherman?
A: A master baiter.

Evolutionists to Change Lightbulb

Q: How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: There's no evidence that the change is due to evolution. What use would a mutation that produced part of a filament be?