Profession Jokes - Lawyer Jokes
Lawyer And Pitbull
Q: What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull terrier?
A: Lipstick !
Q: Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
A: Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland
There's a blind rabbit and a blind snake that are friends. One day, the blind rabbit tells the blind snake that he doesn't know what he is, because he can't see. The blind snake takes ahold of the rabbit and says, "Well, you have long fur covered ears and a short little tail. You must be a rabbit." The rabbit was happy to know what he was. He tells the blind snake, "Come here and I will try to determine what you are." The blind rabbit feels the snake and finally says, "You're cold and slimy and don't have any balls. You must be a lawyer."
Is a Lawyer Well Hung?
Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung?
A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck!
Did You Kill the Victim?
Prosecutor: Did you kill the victim?
Defendant: No Sir, I did not.
Prosecutor: Do you know what the penalties are for perjury?
Defendant: Yes Sir, I do. And they're a heck of a lot better than the penalty for murder!